I think God's tugging on my heart strings. But I'm not sure.

There are sosososos sooooo many things I want. I got most of them: hubby, house, friends, family, job, degree. I still want the babies. But I prayed last month for God to take that want away if it wasn't from him, if it wasn't time. And you know what? It's gone. I still want babies. But I'm not angry sad at Tony for not giving me babies. It's so fresh feeling, not being angry sad every month.

But...there's something else.

Something that is whispering...

School.

Meteorology.

When I started college, I originally wanted to go into meteorology. At the time, there was no program for that in Kentucky. So I went into advertising. And I liked it. I still like it.

But when I graduated five years ago (five? where did the time go?), I wanted to go back. Get that meteorology degree. But life happened, I wasn't ready, I didn't want to move, we didn't have any money.

Now I have a full time job. I have a house. I have two cats, a dog, and a wonderful husband. And that whisper came back.

School. Meteorology.

There's a school in my town that has it. But it's undergrad. Five more years of school. Giving up my full-time job.

I'm scared. I'm going to have to pray about this definitely. Talk to Tony.

God works in mysterious ways. I guess he was tired of me finding excuses to not go to church. "Oh, I haven't found one that I like. All the ones near my house are stuffy and dying. Nobody is nice or welcoming. Don't worry God, I'll get back to church." But the excuses kept piling up, and I kept pushing it back.

So last Saturday, I was on my way to Speedway to get a fountain drink (for Tony) and a Coke Freeze (for me). I had the window's up, the air on, and the radio blasting. I came to a stop at the head of our street when I heard a pop, and saw the passenger side of Valerie (new red car) go down. "I think I just blew a tire," I thought. Put the car in park, put on the hazards, and get out. Yep, I blew out a tire. Oh, some neighbors are out landscaping! I walk over, hoping one of them can help since I've never changed a tire. The husband, Eric, comes over to help. It turns out he is a seminary student and an associate pastor at New Salem Baptist Church. He invites me to church, but it's all the way out in Valley Station, a good 35 miles from my house.

Ok, God, you've got my attention. I'm just going to Google this church to see what it's all about.

So I Google. And I go to the website. It's down. It continues to be down, but on Wednesday, I remember praying, "God, I can't go if I don't know when the service times are." So the next time I Google it, the phone number comes up. I call, but I get a voicemail that tells me when the services are. "Ok God, I'll go."

So I go. I drop Tony off at Waverly Park for his bike ride. I'm late. I hate being late, but I go in one door and it turns out to be near the front of the sanctuary. I try to blend in. It's a good message. Afterwards, all of these people are coming up to me, welcoming me, asking my name, asking if I play softball and if my husband does and saying they need people. I might go play softball on Friday. It's a good place. I look forward to coming back.

God, I wish you hadn't had to blow out a tire to get my attention. But I'm glad he did.

This morning, I went back to the website, and it's live again. God works in mysterious ways.

I pray for just one month where I don't get upset when I get my period. One month where there is no praying that something miraculous might have happened despite my husband doing everything humanly possible to not get me pregnant. One month with no tears, no sadness, no resentment.

Just one month. Please.